DFA Writes

An open wound, thats bleeding steadily and violently,
And you’re trying to pretend that you don’t care.
Almost like I’m supposed to believe your front, and do away with reason.
And by the way, you’re a horrible liar, I can see it on your face.

How are we doing this to each other?
Have we forgotten everything?
How is it that someone I used to love, I hate and hates me?
Hate is a strong word, but as delicate as we are, what isn’t?

My blood runs thick at a hint of your presence.
Merely the hope of an offchance that we’ll both grow up.
Maybe I’m wrong for believing we could still be friends.
Mostly, I’m wrong for everything as it is, so what do I have to lose?

Don’t you miss the way we were before the fall?
Deep down, I miss my best friend, and I miss my comfort.
Deep down, I miss all of our good times, that have grinded to a halt.
Deep down, I miss you.

You have everything.
You have best friends, good friends, all kinds of friends.
You are encompassed by people who love you and care about you.
I am one of those people.

But in the great crowd, I feel that my voice is drowned out.
I can’t seem to find my place in your life.
I’m so lost as to why you took the extremes you took for us to be together.
I really love being together, but what was so necessary about me?

You left what I saw as a perfect life.
You seemed to have it all.
I didn’t have anything to offer you.
You have everything I can provide.

Why?
What makes me good enough for you to leave it all?
Why did you do it?
What was the difference between me and everyone else?

I actually can’t find a reason.
Is it me you are actually interested in?
A real first.
Someone who actually follows their heart. =)

“Hey, we need to talk…” i’m about to tell you i’ve been cheating on you for six months with your sister
“ok. let’s talk”   i know.
“you know i love you, right?”    ..or at least the sex…and the food.
“yes.”    or at least that’s what you’ve been telling me when you come from HER house.
“well, i think we need to be freinds for awhile.”   so  i can sleep with you sister guilt free
“ any particular reason?” you’re really a prick, thinking that i don’t know
“so that i can figure my life out” and sleep with your sister guilt free
“no other reason?”  you’re such a  liar.
“no” i’m such a liar.

Pull back the bricks and the mortar, my children.
hold out your hands  for your inheiritance;
oil sludge, mar and muck, innocent life liquid – all i have to offer you,
everything you have given me,
i return to your babies.
so hold out thier small soft hands;
bullets and shrapnel, old sludge and innocent life liquid – all you have to offer them.

hold the hat
for the man in the
black
cape.

your life-
white wonderbread against
pumpernikol
when
the color of our hearts hold the
judgments in our heads.

the time for smiles is gone,
mr. freeze.
why can’t you see

it’s too bad your car
is so common.
every time i see one that looks like
it, my heart leaps.
and then i remeber
i remeber that your car
is almost 1,ooo,ooo,ooo miles away;

down the next block,
over one street
and around that little corner-
and then your door.

not far, but far enough to keep me
here
and you…
you never go anywhere anyway.

O, freakish untensil
Your shame I shall hide
O, wondrous monster
I shall stay by your side.
A man and a woman
of different tastes
call for two tools.
“Find her a spoon
to bring her her soup.”
“Find him a fork
to bring him his meat.”
I reject this.
Just as the man and wife wed,
so, too, the spoon
and the fork.
Just as marriage makes two one,
yet more than one,
so, too, with the spork.
Though some rebuke thee–
“Twisted,” they say, “and vile.”–
They know not the nature of beauty.
O, freakish utensil
Two blend in one head.
O, wondrous monster
With you I am fed.

i think im falling in love with you…

“so wat now?”

now, i keep falling in love with you, and thinking that im the luckiest girl in the world for having you. how’s that sound babe?

“that sounds perfect. i love you”

i placed                 my life
my   s o  u  n  d
         myquick beating heart
in your hands.

i wrote

       his truth
 his  LIES
           his infidelity

on the alabaster stone
     of my soul

i charged
                     it as
       his sin
         my angsssssst
and our terribly beautiful mistake.

we 
                          the fig tree
                             ate fruit

and held
stars .each other. stars 
                                                                     to heaven.                                      

your breath kissed my skin             and took me                                 
                                                                               

you were my wonderful, terrible anomoly.

I don’t look at you like I used to.

I tried to hate you, I tried to make your life miserable without me.

Sad thing was, I was miserable without you.

I tried to make things work in your absence. They didn’t.

I don’t look at you like I used to.

I will always remember the our first kiss,  and the peek of you I stole.

You really loved me then didn’t you?

I tried to erase you and all the times I saw you from my memory. I couldn’t.

I don’t look at you like I used to.

You see, we’re not the same people we were when we first got together.

We’ll never be able to pick up the pieces and rebuild it all.

We’ll never be able to see each other the same.

I don’t look at you like I used to.

I love you, and I’ve become blind to looks or stolen glances.

I love you, I missed you, and regardless of how tore down we were, I need you back.

W’re not the same, but love never changes, does it?

So let’s fall back in love. Nothing is stopping us but ourselves.

When people ask me what happened between me and you, I want a one word answer: “Fallen.”

The color of the sky

the roariing ocean waves

….to be continued

There are moments in life when you feel crying. Like shedding tears for eterinty as if salty drops of water can cure all you’re pain.You feel as if you will burst if you don’t do something. You can’t scream, you can’t yell,you can’t shout or run , so you just cry. You just cry you’re eyes out, until there is nothing else that can flow. There are moments in life when you feel like shouting. You feel like shouting because you’ve held it in for so long and now it’s time for the volcano to erupt . Now it’s time for the timebomb to po ticking p. And when it pops you feel better and worse at the same time. You feel good that you spoke you’re mind , but you feel bad because everyone knows, no matter how much we pretend , no matter how often we walk around with nonchalant attitudes, no matter how many times we repeat the word “sticks and stones can break my bones but names will never hurt me” , that words hurt! Words have the striking ability to pierce and rip you’re heart apart. And so you no longer feel like shouting. There are moments in life when you feel like running. Like running on and on and on and never coming back like forgetting about the past , like making everything disappear in one glass shattering instant until tiny pieces can no longer be put back together.

Got no reason
got no rhyme
trailin’ from the
dotted line

fallin’ through the
sands of time
knew that you
would soon be mine.

Once upon
a shattered distance
stood a man
who knew resistance

wanted travel
‘cross the way
knew he soon
would see the day.

Once upon
a stricken limelight
stood a soul
that felt the twilight

wanted somethin,
couldn’t find
knew what used
to be sublime.

got a message,
hold it dear.
pass it forth
from ear to ear.

got a story,
told it twice.
think a summ’ry
will suffice.

Once upon
two broken dreams,
kept away by
bloodied streams

drawn to be
where flames are bright,
from dismay and
bleak twilight,

got new reason,
got new rhyme
trailin’ from
connected lines.

fell into the
sands of time.
knew that you
would soon be mine.

Emotions take over your mind

The turtle slowly makes its way to and fro

You hear the wind rushing around you

See the leaves cover it like a blanket of snow

The ripples in the water has an effect on you. A kind you somehow can’t explain, just feel it rather.

Leaves are falling delicately from the trees.

Objeces are reflected clearly from the water.

See nature at rest…

Nature at its best.

“I’ll try,” she said as she walked away, “Try not to lose you.”
Two vibrante hearts could change
Nothing tears the being more than deception,
Unmasked fear
I’ll be here waiting, tested and secure

Nothing hurts my world,
Just effects the ones around me,
When sin’s deep in my blood,
You’ll be the one to fall!

I wish I could be the one,
The one who won’t care at all,
But being the one on the stand,
I know the way to go, No one’s guiding me.

When time soaked with blood turns it’s back,
I know it’s hard to fall,
Confided in me was your heart,
I know it’s hurting you, but it’s killing me

Nothing will last in this life,
Our time is spent constructing,
Now you’re perfecting a world… meant to sin,
Constrict your hands around me,
Squeeze till I cannot breathe,
This air tastes dead inside me,
Contribute to our plague,
Break all your promises,
Tear down this steadfast wall,
Restraints are useless here,
Tasting salvation’s near!

*screaming*

Nothing hurts my world,
Just effects the ones around me,
When sin’s deep in my blood,
You’ll be the one to fall!

I wish I could be the one,
The one who won’t care at all,
But being the one on the stand,
I know the way to go,
No one’s guiding me,
When time soaked with blood turns it’s back,
I know it’s hard to fall,
Confided in me was your heart,
I know it’s hurting you, but it’s killing me

Tried to hurt me so bad

 Make me lose what I had

Kept me feeling so sad

But you can’t hold me down

Preventing me from feeling

Keeping me from loving

Stopping me from healing

But you can’t hold me down

Make me go insane

Bringing me pain

Messing with my brain

But you can’t hold me down

Giving me sorrow

Make me wait for no tomorrow

Make my heart feel so borrowed

But you can’t hold me down

Making me go in rage

Held me hostage in a cage

Couldn’t turn the page

But you can’t hold me down

Didn’t know who I could be

Stopped me from being me

But now I’m set free

And you couldn’t hold me down

Hold my heart

keep my deepest secrets

in your age-old foundations

give me the comfort and solace

that you’ve given to the

multitudes and lift me with your

spirit.

Bring back the ghosts of your past

back to this world so that

they can feel the diversity,

taste the progression,

and know that their lives,

the lives that made you possible

were a part of this

change.

Give me a sign so that

I can know what

we do is justified.

Hold me

Console me

Lend me the wisdom

buried in your walls

Let the perserverance

of

your past

guide the passion of your future

Lead us…

Love us…

Help us…

Outside is my muse.

Outside is my sanctuary.

Outside where its just me and the infinitely endless sky

With its clouds that I can imagine dreaming on,

Or play childlike games, like thinking up shapes.

Outside with the breeze that blows away my bad thoughts,

The clean air that fills my lungs.

Outside where i can walk barefoot and careless

As i feel the grass under my feet and between my toes,

As that feeling fills my body with delight, and fills my mind with memories of earlier, easier days.

Outside with the birds’ music.

The absolute sweetest conversation like music,

Mixed with the barking of dogs,

   the laughter of neighborhood children,

   the sound of passing cars,

   the rustling of trees as they dance.

These sounds that fuse together and form my most adored symphany.

   These things make my comforting endulgance

   These things make my escape

   These things, all together, create my outside.

~Dre’

People who swear their opinion is the only one and that they have control of everything annoy me.
If you don’t line up with them, you’re absolutely wrong.
Bad news to us people, they’ll always be like that and they’ll always swear the have the answers.
I would give you the advice to ignore them, but it’s more fun to have something ridiculous to laugh at during the day time.
One warning though, to people like that who oppose me:
Don’t mistake my meekness for weakness.
I am capable of more than your little narrow mind can comprehend.

…”Why are you dancing?” asked the beautifully confused maiden.
“Because I am going to the carnivaaaaaal,” sang Jovial as he twirled about the tower, only to be tripped up by Jingles.
“Look out for the guitar!” screamed Joy as he pulled his precious Les Paul from the danger of Jovial’s stumble.  The lovely maiden sighed and looked whistfully out the window.  “But no one can leave…  We can never leave.”
“But we can check out any time we like!” interjected the ever-grinning Jingles. 
The other elves looked scornfully at him.
“What say you, Jolly?,” asked Jingles. “Enjoy a merry romp through the carnival?”
Jolly rudely smacked the space bar on his computer and turned to Jingles with a glare.
“…Or not,” said jingles cautiously.
Suddenly the maiden had an idea. “Let’s make a carnival!”
“Yeah!” shouted Jingles.
“What?” asked Jovial.
“I have work,” said Joy calmly, stroking his precious Les Paul.
Jolly glared.
Then, there was a small sound.  A tiny, hushed whisper almost- And it seemed to come from the door.  But the door was not open.  Instead, everyone looked down at the small mouse in the corner.  “Pssst…”

“Hey, hey man…” said the peculaiarly shady, yet charming, little mouse.
“I can get y’all out of here.”
The lovely maiden and elves exchanged glances. 
“How?” asked the maiden.
“…How much you got?” asked the mouse.
“We have fairy dust, unicorn hair, and a strong bond of unity!” replied the maiden cheerfully.
“…Cash,” said the mouse with a blank look.
The maiden and elves laughed… And laughed… AND LAUGHED.
“Why would we need any money?  We are confined to live in a tower!  We are satisfied with our wealth of love and harmony and hearts of gold!” explained the gleeful maiden.
Jingles snorted and went to the closet full of supplies. “Let’s get started on this carnival!” he declared.
The other elves nodded and quickly rushed to work, the maiden drawing up diagrams and designs.  However, the busy band of workers did not notice the now gleaming eyes of the little mouse who was watching them all with a new interest.
“Hearts of gold…” he repeated dazedly, watching them dash about.
“Oh,” said the maiden, turning to look at the mouse. “Pray tell, what is your name, mystical rodent?”
The mouse blinked and looked down, now appearing quite shy.  he muttered something something inaudible.
“What?” asked Joy.
“…Bran-Bran,” grumbled the mouse.
The maiden and elves snorted, trying to contain their amusement.
The mouse frowned and put up an indignant front. “Bran-Bran means ‘Dark Warrior’ in Swahili! Shut up!”
Just then, a terrible dragon flew in through the window and destroyed the carnival, carrying the fair maiden away.
“Whoa!” shouted Jingles. “No way! NO WAY!”
“We have to save her!” announced Jovial galantly.
Bran-Bran cast a shifty glance around the room. “You know, I can get y’all out of here…”
“How?” sighed Jolly.
Bran-Bran smiled ever-so slightly, casually eyeing Jolly’s heart.

…

Soft, sweet, melodic tunes

that echo and vibrate in my

dark bleak room.

They flow and form a sweet sweet beat,

one that makes me think stop and think,

of time’s past, of evenings unfulfilled,

of elegant daydreams and wishful thoughts.

Or problems unresolved that will never  be solved.

Oh these soft , sweet melodic tunes

they capture life’s problems like a twister

 and then turn them upside down.

Those beats bring comfort to my aching heart,

the question is can’t this music,

this sweet calming music

never stop.

These comedians. These Watchmen.

Hoc dei ex machinae

Finding patterns in that which does not exist

Endlessly gazing into the abyss,

filled and filling,

with the clicks, the ticks,

and tocks of clocks,

Pruposefully trying to illuminate

the darkness of mere being,

with a flicker of higher meaning.

Shall not the judge of all the Earth do right

by those who doth inhabit it?

Trying to return a clock without a craftsman

to the house from whence it came.

These absent friends,

the answer lies in the Heart of Mankind

If only I had known,

I would have become a watchmaker.

It would be a stronger world,

a stronger, loving world to die in.