eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches together/ maybe we should have played more games of hide and go seek

here from my bed of purple and white flowers

i Watch you

my Eyes linger on your face

a portrait painted with sheer innocence.

Watching from atop my mountain

where i alone exist

i Laugh at you

lackadaisical

running through your backyard: a safari

your curly-blonde hair:

spaghetti

crazy as you.

as i lie here

Seeing you stumble: (glass shatters into a thousand pieces against a cement floor)

“watch out!!!. . . my tongue and lips form words that can not be uttered

can not be Heard

sometimes i Wish you were a checkers game

and i could jump over the things that get in your way

removing obstacles

but

here i am

tied down to wishes and hopes of things

that can never happen

helpless.

maybe you don’t need me anymore

me: Wanting to guide you

i can Forget you and cherry red cheeks from play, and sweat dripping down from your head, and the time i tried to explain the concept of aunts to you and you did an “ant dance”, and robot walks across an unpolished wooden floor

but sometimes i’ll think of the laughter and steal a glance at you:

a face hardened by too much of reality

and then i’ll remember the laidback days and

how you made me smile.