Before. (The Forgiveness Story) January 30, 2009
Posted by austino33 in Austin's Thoughts.3 comments
Before.
I was beat, hated, abused, mistreated, raped, killed, stabbed, and left for dead.
Gutted and stripped of all honor or pride or glory. Night was dark, and the sun never shone.
I had trusted the world to complete me. And to care and nurture me.
I was at my lowest bottom. At the worst place I had ever been in.
The world stripped all that was important, and beat me until I felt like a nobody.
Truth was, then I was a nobody. I wasn’t anybody.
I was beat into a pit of nothingness. No hope for love, or a future.
I laid on the hard, cold ground, and begged the Heavens for mercy and forgiveness.
I knew I was wrong. I knew I needed help. I knew I didn’t have the answers.
I begged for someone to hold me and to care for me, and be unbiased.
Someone to love me unconditionally and not to ask for anything in return.
I begged for help, or ambition. I begged for something to end all the misery that had by far destroyed the person who I was. I begged for a rebirth, because I wanted to feel true love.
Thank God, he heard my screams of agony, as I lay, begging for completion.
He gave me salvation as soon as I asked.
He then revivied my life.
He gave me control over my musical abilities.
But he didn’t stop there.
He bent over from Heaven, lifted my unfinished corpse up, and placed my bloody, ruined, used body, in your arms. You accepted this pathetic excuse of a man, and kissed the love back into my veins, as his spirit filled my lungs with the air that I needed. I looked at your face, and your beauty surrounded me as I opened my eyes to see what was real. At that point, I didn’t know why he chose your arms to put me in, but he did. I was soon to find out that being in the arms of beauty makes for a happy ending.
You two pulled me to my feet, and held me because I couldn’t stand. He gave me strength to hold onto you as you held onto him. He then set my legs own and gave me strength to hold my own weight.
He placed love in my heart for you that was greater than I could ever know.
He then pushed us together, and put my arms around you. He stripped all the pain and sorrow away, for there was work to be done.
He crafted us to fit perfectly into each others needs, my muscles to compliment your curves.
My boldness to your meekness.
Your faith to my doubt.
He then gave you the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen.
He then gave me a desire to please you, greater and unlike any other desire.
He allowed you to clean my gashes and sow them together.
He then pulled us apart for a while, to do some personal work.
I recieved honesty, tenderness, compassion, and true love.
You recieved strength, trust, boldness, and true love as well.
He pushed us back together after 4 months of refining, and put my arms around you like before.
He then conquered our doubts, and let us love with all we had.
When he finished, he put his tools away, and sat back and took a deep breath.
He studied us and nodded his head,
and just like the beginning of the world, he said, “This is good.”
He then spoke into my spirit that you were the one. He said to care for you and love you, as he had me. I still hold to this very day that being there for you is one of my callings. One of my purposes is to be your husband. Your childrens father. Your safety and comfort. I was to be all that I could be all that I could be for you, because he made us together to be together. I would tell you how our story ends, but its just began. Many hills to climb. But one last thing God gave me was strength, to pick you up and carry you when the hills seemed to big. To answer an age old question, is there love at first sight?
Yes, but better than that, there is EVERLASTING love at first sight.
Renegade. January 29, 2009
Posted by austino33 in Austin's Thoughts.add a comment
Renegade, Renegade, you are soon to fall.
Your rebellion has long continued and worn out.
Yet you continue running and fighting.
Renegade, Renegade, asking you to surrender is futile.
To stop your rebellion is to silence you.
Yet your silence is a tragedy to even those who oppose you.
Renegade, Renegade, instead of fighting our cause,
understand that which makes us who we are.
We have each others back, and would like to have yours too.
We don’t hate you, we don’t dislike you,
we want you, because we love who you are.
Renegade, your household cries for your support.
Renegade, Renegade, your campaign has caused pain.
You’ve killed many things, but never the joy and never the love.
Renegade, you aren’t strong enough to smother the love.
Truth be told, Renegade, our love is stronger than ANY opposition.
Even yours. You aren’t strong enough renegade.
You can take away oppurtunity, you can take away joy,
you can fight our loving freedom, but you can’t kill the love.
You know what they say, if you can’t beat em, join em?
Through the Jazzband Haze January 29, 2009
Posted by thekrustyjuggler in thekrustyjuggler.add a comment
I remember. I remember every time…she wore that red, velvet, dress. Every time she wore her her long, curly, black hair down and put on her long, black, velvet gloves. Every time she glided over to the microphone, across from my piano, how the dark enveloped her, then dissapated from the waist up as she melted the room with soft, slurred blues, promises of love long after the day is done. All with her Southern French drawl. Oh that red velvet dress, it went on for miles. I remember no matter how much you wanted to keep looking at her, everyone ended up closing their eyes. I remember the way she bobbed on her red, velvet, hips, and swayed in the limelight, holding the microphone like how everyone in the dimly lit lounge must’ve wished she’d hold them. I remember. I remember every time she broke my heart on that stage, but kept the pieces glued together with Southern, French hope just long enough to keep me coming back…just so she could it again. And I remember the way she smelled in the Jazzband haze, the fingers of her fragrance stroking my cheek and the way it perfected the soft heat of the lounge. She smelled like smoke and paradise, like intrigue and innocence, she smelled like sweet, comfortable, darkness.
ugh. January 29, 2009
Posted by chipmunkeyy in chipmunkeyy..1 comment so far
i just don’t like that chick.
she thinks she knows it all, but she’s stupid… as hell…
but i don’t say anything rude to her because he likes her…
let’s see how long this lasts.
CONT.
ok, so i started thinking about the whole thing.
why does he like her and not me?
why does she act as if he’s not the BEST guy she’s ever encountered?
why am I not upset that he likes her…
answers?
she’s pretty.
she hasn’t always been this way.
in that twisted little mind of hers, there is some form of amazing substance.
she’s stupid.
[as i stated above]
she wants the benefits without the committment.
it’s easy.
i thought i might be…
but as he continued to express his affection for her,
i understood.
she’s his perfect woman.
and i’m fine being his perfect friend.
what now? January 29, 2009
Posted by dreaan in Uncategorized.1 comment so far
i think im falling in love with you…
“so wat now?”
now, i keep falling in love with you, and thinking that im the luckiest girl in the world for having you. how’s that sound babe?
“that sounds perfect. i love you”
Exactly. January 28, 2009
Posted by praebeoverbum in praebeoverbum.5 comments
He leaned over the mirror, straw in hand.
“why you like that shit so much?”
he turns.
pause.
” ’cause men would rather embrace demons than be shadows.”
snort.
cough.
“you see my freind,” he continued, “in a world where no means yes, mirrors hide monsters and everybody’s lookin for someone, everybody’s somebody’s someone that nobody knows of. You dig?”
“i dunno…”
smile.
“Exactly.”
I Die Alive. January 13, 2009
Posted by praebeoverbum in praebeoverbum.3 comments
it is true,
that when the heart stops
the body goes into
r g r o t s
i o m r i
it is true,
that when the heat stops
the breath
F a d e s ……
you make my heart stop.
but i’m warm
all
over.
and somhow,
i’m still breathing.
My Wish. January 13, 2009
Posted by austino33 in Austin's Thoughts.add a comment
My wish is for you to have everything you’ve ever wanted and to have all that your heart desires.
That you wake up in the morning with a smile.
That love will be freely given to you, from whomever you please.
My wish is for one simple thing for you. Abundance.
My wish for you is for you to feel the completeness that I feel in you.
That you will unconditionally love me for forever.
That you and me are always greater than that which opposes us.
My wish is for one simple thing for you. A Stronger Me.
My wish for you is for us to be constant.
That I won’t be in and out of your life.
That you won’t lose sight of your future and goals and dreams, because of me.
My wish is for one simple thing for us. Eternity.
To Die A Thousand Deaths January 13, 2009
Posted by austino33 in Austin's Thoughts.add a comment
Dying a thousand deaths does not scare me.
Living in the abscense of you is is scarier than death.
Living in the abscense of you is true death.
You see, death is only limited.
Death cannot kill the love I have for you.
Death cannot destroy the life that your love has renewed.
Death is not real.
When I pass from this life, I can carry my love for you into the next.
When I close my eyes and lose my breath to death,
God’s love and your love will be the candles in the darkness.
The loves that held me up in this world, will guide me to the next.
The arms I ran to for safety, will open for me in the shadow of death.
God’s grace will carry me from the earth to the sky.
The memories of you will be my only possession.
Naked I came into his world, and naked I shall leave.
But I shall not leave empty.
I will leave this earth full of your love.
I will die with 12 final words.
I will love you for forever and ever and ever. And ever.
the twins. January 12, 2009
Posted by praebeoverbum in praebeoverbum.2 comments
There was no reason for us to like eachother. We had been rasied to respect one another and be courteous. But the never said we had to like each other; and boy, we didn’t. we couldn’t stand to be in the same room. We wouldn’t be in classes together, wouldn’t dare be in the same clubs or honor societies. we hated each other. in the surest form of the word; couldn’t stand the sight of one another… it was a pity, ‘cuase we were so similar. the great things we could have done………
a liar’s asylum January 11, 2009
Posted by praebeoverbum in praebeoverbum.add a comment
his shiny leather shoes
on the floor,
his fingers tracing
her pale, pale neck.
nothing between them
but the truth.
tighter than clothing,
more strangling than rope –
the truth.
when he turned away,
she longed to trace his shoulder
with the stars against the
black, black night
just like she use to,
when she wasn’t a liar
and when he,
when he still loved her.
she hated the sun,
her replacement in the austentatious, gaudy
daylight.
how she hated the sun.
but the sun served a purpose,
and the beautiful pale, pale moon
knew this.
and still, she watched silently and waited
for the twilight to come and the
day to be done.
she wished so hard for the damn autumn sun to go down
down
and
of course,
it never did.
there can be no love without truth.
and love is a two way street.
DFA Writes 